Searching for God with Skin
Searching for God with skin on is sort of like looking for love in all the wrong places. I can be an emotionally charged woman who can sometimes go up and down depending…on a lot of things. It could be a hormonal thing, a crisis or just a wrong reaction on someone’s part and wham…I’ve reacted. When things are out of whack in my world it would be a wonderful thing to just have God with skin on to wrap His arms around me and speak words of comfort and encouragement to my spirit. But that is just it, I can’t "feel" the comfort or the healing so then I just feel very alone. I know I am not the only one who has been here, you girls know what I’m talking about!
What I need I can’t seem to find. I want my Papa because to hear Him would give me comfort. But I can’t hear His voice audibly. Of course if I did it would scare me half to death! So what am I to do? I can’t run to man, for he is just like me, weak and vulnerable and easily persuaded. Not always wise in his ways and or given to discernment. No, I can’t go there--although many times I am so tempted to do just that! And maybe, just like me, when you give in to what the flesh wants you in turn get burned and instead of the hope and encouragement you were looking for, the fix becomes temporary. Leaving a hollow in your spirit.
Girls, this is what I can choose to do. I can run to my Daddy, my Abba.The One who will never, ever let me down. The One who gives comfort to my spirit and causes me to soar once again. No, it may not be the fleshly comfort that would "feel" so welcoming but, my spirit would be ministered to and I would receive a healing touch that would alter the outlook of my situation. So I run to Him, and I crawl upon His lap that is more than roomy enough for this big girl to snuggle in and I receive.
There was a time when I truly needed a real encounter with my heavenly Father. I will let you in on a time when I learned that I wasn’t an orphan after all.
"I remember one morning when I felt so lonely and longed for an earthly father to receive comfort from. You see, I am very alone most of the time. At this time in my life, my husband and I are at different places spiritually. We aren’t always on the same page when it comes to the Lord. I tend to spiritualize things a bit more and my man is down to earth and very basic in his faith. Sometimes that makes me feel a bit alone. One morning after my husband went off to work (he is the early bird and leaves the house like clockwork every work morning at 5:05 and sometimes I sneak back to bed but other times I can have good times with the Lord when I stay up. Although it was an unusual thing to do, I heard my ‘Abba’ Father beckon me to come and crawl up on His lap and bury my head in His shoulder. I am just about sure that I looked around to make sure that no one could see me and actually it was only the animals and me home at that time. So I did what the Lord invited me to do! I covered myself with a quilt and envisioned being in my daddy’s lap and I cried out to Him pouring my heart out to Him. I told Him how very lonely and sad I felt. There are times when we do not get the emotional response we need from our parents or spouse and that can pull us into a down time—maybe even throwing us out of whack emotionally. But god, You are there and You hear my cries and my pain, You don’t become weary of hearing me whine and carry on. You listen and comfort me, You, the God of Jacob, hear my prayers. This is something so amazing. Had anyone been able to see me that morning and heard my weeping, they would have wondered if there was something drastically wrong with me. But, my Daddy, My Abba Father, held me close and was very attentive to my sorrows and provided me with comfort and peace. To my spirit He assured me of His love and acceptance of me—which is so what I needed at that moment. You know, it could have been PMS or feeling sorry for myself for whatever reason. But God, my God, was there for me when no else was for my husband surely would have thought I lost my mind. My God knows the heart of His girl and how she just gets lonely and sad sometimes."
(from Worshiping in the Psalms, Psalm 84)
It indeed seems odd that this could bring the peace needed in our dire straight moments, but for me it was a true epiphany that would forever change the way I perceive my heavenly Father. Girls, guard your heart and don’t let your emotions rule, run to the right thing and you will receive the comfort that only your Daddy, your Abba, can give you. You will find healing and peace that passes all understanding and you will have the courage to go on!